Directed by : Martin Hunt ( aka Bruno Mattei )

Scripted by : Bruno Mattei & Mike Monty

Starring : Hugo Barret, David Brass, Juliette Junot, Federica Lenzi , Robert Madison & Kasia Zurakowska

‘‘What was in the past is as strong today as it was then!’’

Bruno Mattei is back, this time under the blue movie sounding Director's moniker of David Hunt, with a production that has more dodgy sets than an early Traci Lords porno. There’s nothing unlawful against bad movies though and Bruno makes exceptional ones. With such a wonderful sense of daftness its hard not to get swept away with his tireless brand of low budget escapism, high in the Fun factor and endlessly entertaining with repeat viewings.

It’s old school Hammer ‘Mummy’ time, with more than a fresh squeeze of Stephen Sommers’ ‘The Mummy Returns’ on the Rocks, as a two thousand year old Mayan legend fulfils its prophecy. Opening with a Mayan temple equivalent of a female prison riot, as topless Mexican babes fight off a hairless high priest brandishing a blade, ‘The Tomb’ opens its credits like a one armed bandit holding up ‘Carrie’ on prom night. It’s a frenetic fury unleashed as the high priest goes through the women like Jack Nicholson does his ‘Witches Of Eastwick’. This particular folically challenged fiend, however, really goes for the throat as his sharp edged knife slices the girls throats. Sacrificial lambs to the slaughter , all part of the ritual to give him eternal life alongside his chosen virgin bride , also brought forcibly to the temples altar of death against her will. Just as the forefather of reverend Jim Jones is about to kill all around him the death ritual is cut short by the arrival of sword wielding guards to the King, and before he can leave the building the high priest is near fatally struck down. He is helped away from the ensuing fight by loyal servants through a secret passage behind the thickened walls. His personal aid and high priestess witch bitch is right beside him, and fully prepared for his journey into the afterlife. He is immediately prepared for a future resurrection when the stars are realigned in two thousand years. It’s embalming time and the high priest has to get stiff without the aid of his virgin bride! The sinister looking priestess of pain virtually revels in her mandatory role, applying her primitive surgical skills with all the dexterity of a gloved up Freddy Krueger. Into the nostril she forces a steel rod to pull out the brain, swiftly followed by the black guild of opticians eye gouging implement used to bloody effect. This woman’s bed side manner is as comforting as having ‘Ilsa She Wolf Of The S.S’ cold call as a freelance home colonic nurse!

Finally the catatonic priest is laid to rest in a sarcophagus, filled to the brim with more funky fluid than a straight guy has the right to be. This bad boy is readied for a future comeback, and when his plug is pulled everyone best stand back as there’s likely enough man mayo to lace a whole chain of Subway sandwiches.

Jump to the modern day and a thirty something professor arrives at a Latin American town market location with his late teen pupils, they’re on an archaeological trip that is destined to uncover more than they bargain for! Professor Tom Langley is responsible for a mixed group of young males and pretty females with the right amount of exposed flesh to feast upon. Reminiscent of Frank Agrama’s earlier 1981 made Zombie / Mummy flick ‘Dawn Of The Mummy’, the scene is set for an anticipated cast culling to come. It’s not long at all before Bruno brings out the bloody broccoli for a healthy helping of non vegetarian gruel as the local guide takes a short cut through a cemetery where the dead need direction back to their graves. Open up those ground caskets and the dead shall rise bearing gifts of gore. All the night time blue back lit, mist enshrouded glory of decades gone by flood out like a Mario Bava Technicolor feature to highlight Bruno Mattei’s cameo spot Zombies. A welcome return with some gusto, brief in screen time but memorable in appearance with a satisfying pay off. Nothing beats the sight of a petrified victim getting stared down by the un-dead, with their outwardly stretched arms rotting in the night air. The hapless guide ends up losing more than just his fake moustache as a stone carved statue looks on at the attack. The man of rock stirs and visibly moves its head , its clay faced _expression enough to turn Medusa herself to stone with its icy stare! Snakes alive this is a segment of pure genius and a very welcome throwback to all that was great about the Italian made horror films from the Eighties.

The professor and his class are left to seek out the help of the village healer, a female with the gift of second sight, recommended by the locals as being very knowledgeable of the ancient surrounding lands. She also just so happens to be one freaky lady with a part time job as the resident exorcist, who makes Linda Blair’s possessed character Regan seem like ‘Tess Of The D’Urbervilles’! There’s clearly something not quite right about this sister of Satan, but she’s the best Professor Langley and disciples can call upon to lead them to the long lost Mayan temple they seek. With a plot thin on dialogue the ability to visualise entertainment is just what’s required from the seasoned Mattei, and right about here is where the call for a freaky faced expression wards off the demons of confused script writing. Now that may well be acknowledge only by the expectant Mattei fans smile of appreciation.

With more than a passing resemblance to the original high priestess the new trail blazer leads the group off into the jungle headed right to the lost temple of terror, and awaiting them there is the mummified high priest requiring fresh blood to rise up once more. The trek itself is through an un-chartered region where the birds don’t sing yet the quick sand cries out for unwitting victims. Just about surviving the outward bound ramble the shaken up rabble arrive at the temple and are soon drawn into the terror trap that is ‘The Tomb’! Time for the post grads to flunk out and become class A candidates for their post mortems!

Within the structure of the temple the design of ‘The Tomb’ set is a set designers work of great construct. The look of the main aperture, caverns and chambers create the image of a well rendered reconstruction of what Mayan artisans may have created, adding greatly to the cheesy theme with a visual of plausibility.

Time then for the fake guide to reveal herself to be the true witch bitch that she is, and time also for the once mummified high priest to rise up and cherry pick him a virgin bride from the girl school screamers. The terrified teens scatter around the tomb as the field trip soon turns into a survival course. Death it is decreed will befall all who dare desecrate ‘The Tomb’. Several devilishly detailed deaths follow and take their toll upon the irritating youths that will delight the audience baying for their blood. A giant swinging blade impales one of the girls to a wall in true ‘Pit And The Pendulum’ fashion. Another falls victim to an attack of Tarantula spiders, with a Lucio Fulci moment from his ‘The Beyond’ that leaves not only its victim open mouthed but likely viewing patrons too.

The professor steps up to take on the role of hero as he goes one on one with a now fully transformed she bitch priestess, whilst the high priest strives to resurrect his queen through a sacrifice once again. Look out for accompanying deadites playing the bong bong drums, and nestle back in glee at the pyrotechnique closure as the tomb takes its final toll.

‘The Tomb’ is tackier than Moby Dicks homogenised blubber stuck to Captain Ahab’s stump, but its still a whale of a good time spent with the ‘B’ movie maestro Bruno Mattei.

Review by Paul Cooke